My boys played with the wooden trains and argued over whose train was longer, faster, better… I stood at the sink and washed the week-old dirty dishes in steaming water. I wrote to you as I scrubbed- I wrote to You in my head and I cried to You in my heart.
My hands are dry and scalded. The dishes placed there, beside the sink to dry. My boys, snuggled in their beds. There is laundry in the hallway, and baseball uniforms that need to be washed, dried, and hung up because the wrinkles are relentless.
I want to write here; that up there is all I can seem to muster… There’s so many things holding me back… Things that are private things, things I could never share here… But also, just everyday things but I can’t seem to put pen to paper fingers to keyboard long enough to make sense of any it…
I could tell you I’m taking a break from this space, but in truth, the moment I do that, is the moment I’ll come rushing back with something to publish… So I won’t… But I kind of am. I kind of have already…
This summer has been difficult, and this month- this September has been Hell.
I am so thankful that tomorrow is a new day, and a new month… I’m thankful for God’s mercies and grace. I’m thankful for His love and His guiding hand.
A friend reminded me today, that I am loved. And oh, how I needed to be reminded.
Do you know… Do you know that YOU ARE LOVED? You are. You are so loved.
You are loved more than you may ever know.
Remember that. Know that.
Hold on to that, when this cruel world brings you down. Because it probably will… And when you know that you are loved, you can find the strength, the courage to fight back.
You are held. You are loved. You are cherished.
You are worthy, and needed, and wanted.
(because sometimes all you can do is write, just write {104})
Some of my best prayers, moments of truth/doubt, etc. seem to come in the shower, or during a long drive home from work, stuck in traffic, or doing a thousand and one “meaningless” things that some how seem to free your mind and soul, and give you a chance to look “inside” and find peace. I know your peace is there, patiently waiting to be found, amidst the noise, squabbles, and scrubbing…
Much love from Ohiooooo,
Valerie